This is one of my all time favorite gallery piece entitled "Resurrection"

This is one of my all time favorite gallery piece entitled "Resurrection"

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Identity Crises

We humans are complicated beings. I feel like I'm always trying to oversimplify everything; I want it all to be neat and tidy, organized and orderly, and to follow some sort of straight path. But it rarely, (if ever),goes that way. I want to define myself with one summarizing word, so that I can easily identify myself to others, and maybe even me. Yet, when I am able to break things down into simple terms I am never quite satisfied. I am always evolving, my perception of that around me always changing, along with the perception of myself.

I have worn a lot of titles proudly:artist, single mother, activist, ect. As time has gone by, I've sought out more and more challenges, mostly because I can't stand to sit still and have an absolute fear of boredom. I want to create and participate in the world around me. Sometimes I resist, because I have committed to a certain identity, and then there's fear. After all, if I present myself as one concept, how can I also be another?

There have been so many life changes for me in the last four months; I've taken on a new job, moved my household, and two days ago, married the most wonderful,loving man. And while it's all been exciting, I'd be lying if I said there hasn't been fear. Fear of being someone or something different. Fear of not knowing what's next. Fear that I'm not the person I thought I was.

After the fear passes though, there is excitement. Who really wants to know what lies ahead anyway? What would I even do with that information? I may fear change at times, but I fear not changing more. And if I have to pick one simple word to describe me and who I am, it shouldn't be a title, maybe just an adjective. I want to be brave, and embrace new ideas and new experiences. But most importantly, I want my children to be brave, and face this world with enthusiasm instead of fear. And that means I've got to walk that walk, wherever that twisty, unknown path may lead.